In a few hours I will get up to breakfast, prep and head out for my much anticipated solo marathon trek. I am excited and feel prepared. I got some awesome last minute tips from the Team Fox Coach last week on how to run in the cold and/or rain, it is all about layers (I'll share more details in a future post) and why one should not take any NSAIDS (like Advil, Naproxen, etc.) 24 hours before a long strenuous workout such as a marathon run. Doing so can impact the functioning of your kidneys and more. He reminded me to have fun as have so many.
So why is my head filled with questions the night before instead of filled with thoughts of falling into sweet, deep zzzzz's? Like...
Will it rain? How much? Will I have enough battery power on my cell and I-Pod (filled with music loaded and selected courtesy of my #1- my daughter Krystal) until I cross the finish? Will I make it all the way in my Puma H-Street's the most minimalist, close to barefoot running shoes I own and feel the most comfortable running in or switch to something with more support, New Balance Minimus when I meet her at the foot of the Queensboro Bridge Greenway?
Will my Mom be up, in good spirits and health for me to make a pit stop at her place, so she can share in the experience of my first marathon run or will there be a set back at mile 6? If there is a setback how do I handle it? Do I stop and cancel my run? Mom's health and helping her navigate her ups and downs with Parkinson's Disease has been a priority and marathon challenge in itself. I am grateful that my older brother is spending this weekend with her to lend a hand until permanent care is underway. But, what if, I am delayed at her place? Can I and should I try to make up the time? Should it matter? Would doing so set me back in the progress I have made in physical therapy for my knee? One of the top physical therapists taped me good, but can my body still take the pounding to the end?
My mind is full of questions that only the morning can answer. These are the variables that are not in my control. But, instead of fighting them, or panicking over their presence I have decided to try a new approach tonight, that of making peace with the fact that pondering is part of our human existence. It is what separates us from animals (unless you are Pinky and the Brain). Our mind needs to ponder, to plan and prepare for all scenarios for the organism's survival and for our plans to come to fruition.
Remember Pinky and the Brain and Brain's pondering if Pinky's pondering what he's pondering?
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but...
Starting to feel some semblance of zzzz's coming on. So to all a good night!